The Hour Podcast

Episode 135 - Ted Cruz's Couscous on the Ted Cruz Cancun Cruz Cruise

As conservatives say, fuck your feelings, maybe you should have thought of that before you decided to be a lazy asshole who let all their pipes burst.  And that, is how you end up resigning as mayor of a Texas town.  Scientists are teaching pigs to play video games, though really should they be fat-shaming kids? A gun shop needs to check if you voted for Biden for their No Bullets for Biden program.  Finally, an old man decides the best use of $10,000 is to bully AT&T, which, ya know, maybe that is the best use of $10,000 because screw AT&T.  There’s another rover on Mars, and another podcast wherever you get your podcasts from, and welcome back to The Hour!

Episode 134 - Pee on a Butthole

What’s your favorite Olympic Sport? Croquet? Roquet? Tug of War? Poding? Well, we’ve been training and this week are all up in your business like a Chinese anal covid test.  We’ll also see what the fuck is going on in Utah, where parents are trying to opt their kids out of Black History month.  A 12 year old swallows some magnets because he hoped he could become Magneto. Meanwhile, a Louisiana woman accidentally made herself indestructible with Gorilla Glue. Finally, get your surf on at the Olympics!  What sport do you think would be suitable for us? Another week, another pod. Welcome back to The Hour!

Episode 133 - Giant Glowing Orange Orb

What’s your favorite defunct mall retailer? Promise us someday we’ll be your favorite defunct podcast. Toys R Us is back, and they’re gone now. The Coast Guard has to repair a window on a lighthouse on top of a underwater mountain in the middle of Lake Superior (all of that is true!) Six people were arrested because their plan went tits up. A man saw a giant mantis alien, but nobody believed him.  And finally, watch out for Chucky.  Don’t worry, he’s not trying to kill you, he just kidnapped his spawn. Welcome back to The Hour!

Episode 132 - Bootleg Bone Ink

Are you ready for a dust up, with two of your favorite haboobs? This week, people don't pay attention to what stock market they’re buying from, and while trying to stick it to Wall Street, confuse some guys in Australia.  Bernie memes translate into hundreds of thousands for charity.  Scientist want to give you a nice stiff bone, but in a good way!  China plants a great green wall, and says it totally was successful, you can totally trust us *shiftyeye-shiftyeye.* Finally, does your dead grandma have a Facebook, if so, Microsoft wants to raise them her from the dead to become a racist AI Bot.  What happens when we record a day late and have nothing to do tomorrow? Well, you get some bonus time with your favorite podcast… well or at least the one you begrudgingly listen to. Welcome back to The Hour!

Episode 131- My Cloacal Vent

Welcome, folks, to the Biden Administration!  It’s a great day in America, in that everything isn’t on fire, it’s just smoldering.  This week, we find out you better eat the ham sandwich your mum packed you in lunch when you drove your lorrie to the Netherlands.  A grocer, which apparently is a real job, found a bunch of cocaine in the bananas.    Britney Spears sister has a bone to pick with Elon Musk, but it’s not what you think.  A Chinese car bursts into flame on a highway in China.  Finally, paleontologists have discovered the first well preserved dinosaur butthole, and thanks to the Wayback Machine we’ve also well preserved a giant butthole that got kicked off Twitter recently.  Politics are going to be a bit more boring in America, but we’re still the same dinosaur assholes we’ve always been hopped up on banana cocaine and ham sandwiches.  Welcome back to The Hour!

Episode 130 - Quivering Anal Jowels

- .... . / .... --- ..- .-. / ... - .- .-. - ... / -. --- .-- -.-.-- STOP! Well, the past week has been kind of shitty, so why not this episode too?  Jared and Ivanka don’t want the Secret Service dropping bombs off in their bathroom, so they have to walk down to the Obama’s to take a shit.  Meanwhile, a new toilet can analyze your poos and tell you how to improve your diet. Computers may be smarter  than us, but we’re too stupid to know for sure, which seems on brand for humanity.  A new Dutch kids show features a man with an uncontrollable penis, though here in America we try to keep those guys away from kids.  Finally, major credit cards will not allow payments to Pornhub, so as all those customers I used to have working retail are now saying, “well, must be free then.”  How are your Morse Code skills? I hope they’re good because this entire episode is in Morse Code, - . .-.. -.-. --- -- . / - --- / - .... . / .... --- ..- .-.!

Episode 129 - Chicken McChicken

If you start this podcast at exactly 10:57, it’ll be a perfect countdown to the end of American Democracy.  But screw all, that, this week discuss someone who left some pigs heads at Mitch and Nancy’s houses.  A nurse in Indonesia took off their PPE and unprotected sex with someone infected with COVID.  I hope they at least used a condom.  A woman in Mississippi punishes her husband for something he did in her dreams!  Engineers are working on color and shape changing materials, because we’re all looking for that.  Finally, a group of chickens start a fight at an American symbol of our culture… a McDonalds.  Pull up your favorite dipping sauce, and welcome back to The Hour!

Episode 128 - Famous Octopus, Gordon Ramsay

Old Year, Old Pod!  It’s the last show of 2021 and we’re so glad you’re here with us. Remember 2020? Try not to!  But, then again, in 2020 we learned that your potential romantic partners can smell your fear of being alone.  Doctors on their birthdays tend to kill old people. Scientists find that there likely was an ancient Gordon Ramsay punching undercooked salmon in ancient Rome.  Meanwhile, a guy found 19 grenades in a river, but don’t worry Facebook told him to call the police or something because he might explode. And finally, Fox News apparently gave away the U.P. to Canada.  I think Jeffrey Canada owes us some cash in exchange.  We resolve to continue doing what we’re doing, and welcome back to The Hour!

Episode 127 - Right in the Urethra Franklin

As is our holiday tradition, we have no holiday traditions on The Hour! This week, your placenta may be hoarding plastic that you may have ate or breathed in. Michigan sends all their naughty children right to jail, but once a year we feed them Paczki, so it’s not that bad. An octopus punches a fish, but scientists say that the fish had it coming and the octopus was just trying to keep it in line. Ancient human cousins apparently hibernated, but then went extinct, so maybe wake your ass up and get something done. Finaly, KFC is out with a video game system nobody wanted or asked for, but what’s new, they also gave us extra crispy. It’s the holiday season, but we hate that song, so screw it, and welcome back to The Hour.

Episode 126 - Patsy and Pussy Tabeau

Dashing through the pod, in a two host open show! This week we find out that Santa is spreading more than christmas cheer. Meanwhile, an angry homeowner gets revenge on people stealing her packages with her shit in a box. Scientists like their tomatoes not shaken, or stirred.  And finally a woman tries to swipe a winning lotto ticket from her employer, but hey have the last laugh.  It’s a week from christmas, and we’re giving you the gift of humor. Welcome back to The Hour!