The Hour Podcast

Episode 96 - Orion's Coin Purse

We heard fireside chats were popular, so thought we’d give one a try.  From the great outdoors we’re going see what happens when rats don't’ have enough garbage because the ‘Rona closed all the restaurants. Someone is attacking mail carriers with paintball guns, and apparently the postal service has a law enforcement arm, Who knew?!  A researcher has a device you can lick and it will taste like anything. Sooooo, electronic Jelly Bellys? A study finds a third of women have Neanderthal genes, which is cool that they can all wear the same size jeans.  Finally, future astronauts won’t be able to write their name in the moon dust, because they’re going to need that pee for concrete.  Listen to that crackling fire, and welcome back to The Hour!

Episode 95 - The Testicuzzi

It’s never hot, but always ready much like our show.  This week we find how a pizzeria owner fucks DoorDash. A South Korean “accidentally” ordered a bunch of sex dolls, but it’s not what you think.  A woman decides to sue all the homosexuals in the world, but she did it in cursive!  In other breaking news, Hobby Lobby has a museum, and also has to give back many of its artifacts because Hobby Lobby sucks (not a sponsor - obviously).  Finally, an Idaho town has had it with its citizens’ shit, literally. What’s warm and bubbly and designed for your balls? You’ll have to wait for our product review. Welcome back to The Hour!

Episode 94 - Ground Beef Sliders

Anyone in the mood for a Pork and Cheese Slider? Covid is in the news this week, as it is all weeks.  This week we find out what happens when a Subway worker uses his powers for evil! Also, we learn that Jeff doesn’t like Subway except for the taste, but the experience is shit!  A compost company gets permission to stink, though people think they may be full of shit.  Some nude newlyweds, nudelyweds if you will, convince a thief not to steal their car by yelling at him in their front yard while totally naked.  Meanwhile an impatient wine-o thinks he’s Keanu Reeves in Speed and tries to go under a wine truck to wheeze the sweet sweet juice inside (NO WHEEZING THE JUICE!) Finally, a truck full of cows spills over at a liquor store, but you’re gonna have the freshest White Russian!   Sometimes we even amuse ourselves, but don’t feel pressure to be amused. QUEUE THE THEME MUSIC and welcome back to The Hour!

Episode 93 - Apples and Cinnamon

Shelter in place has just been extended, and thus the Distant Hours continue.  This week, we find out the IRS sent a bunch of money to dead people, which they’re fine with as long as they don’t vote Democrat. Amazon made $10,000 a second in the first three months of the year, which explains why Amazon can’t pay workers more.  Scientists have unlocked the potential of shit!  Meanwhile, a man in New  York discovers his mom had a body in the freezer; she made him an offer that he refused.  Washington is dealing with “Murder Hornets” and a Granny Gator’s Granny Gator Gator Experience is not looking good after a woman is killed by a gator in South Carolina. You get what you pay for, and the jokes are free! By the way, can someone get me some Apple Cinnamon Rice Cakes? Welcome back to The Hour!

Episode 92 - Big, Dark, Hairy, and Once Belonged To A Man

Much like morons storming the Michigan State House, we’re also here when no one wants us to be.  This week we learn what happens when you teach a Zoom class with your porn bookmarked.  The FDA wants to make hand sanitizer less delectable, but don’t worry it’ll still get you drunk.  A woman got a little man-handled, and by that we mean she got a transplant of man hands. Does this mean she can mansplain if she's signing?  A Swedish town is spreading chicken manure to keep crowds away. Finally, a U.S. court decided that only real people get to own intellectual property because the U.S. has never had any questionable history with “ownership” and “personhood.” What are you looking forward to once this quarantine is over? For us? McChickens. Welcome back to The Hour!

Episode 91 - Grandpa Tanner

In the beforetimes we got together to make a pod. Corona time means we’re still distant. This week we find out about a guy who thought the police just wanted to race. A 30-year-old grandpa sole his step-grandchildren to teach his step-daughter that she was a shitty mom. A granny low on beer gets a 5 month supply (or is it a lifetime supply when you’re 93?) of Coor Light.  A discount chain in Ireland says to expect to see a lot of COVID Babies, which means in about 70 years we can revive “OK Boomer!” Finally, a gender reveal party goes wrong! Who would have guessed!? Hey, what are some good names for a cat? My vote: Sharon Sheridan. Welcome back to The Hour!

Episode 90 - Crumbled Up Porn

Surprise! It’s another long show, and we don’t know why!  But what else do we have to do, and what else do you have to do?  This week we find out about a giant army oven ready to cook some COVID!  A judge gets feisty about lawyers not dressing up for their zoom court dates. Barilla is funding cell stem therapy for Coronavirus. A man in France doesn’t know the correct buttons to push in his fighter jet and ends up getting ejected.  A Georgia tornado moves a house into the middle of a street. Finally, a woman leaves some Easter eggs in people’s mailboxes with some fun Easter surprises. It’s week five of social distancing, WHY CAN’T WE BE OUT GARDENING! RABBLE! Welcome back to The Hour!

Episode 89.5 - The Best of Both Digressions Part 2

In the stunning conclusion of our two-part miniseries, we begin talking about this week’s stories.  We learn that maybe astrophysicists shouldn’t be trusted with magnets. A Kentucky court went to Jared and got some people a beautiful ankle bracelet because they won’t STAY THE FUCK HOME!  Speaking of Fuck, some old manuscripts from the 1300s and 1500s may contain the first usages of the word fuck. Meanwhile, in Japan something else is unearthed, a beaked whale! At Stanford scientist may be able to cure the sads with magnets. Finally, another group of scientists discover you have a unique butthole and their toilet can measure your shit to determine if you may need to see a doctor.  We may have diverged a little bit, but that’s what you get after four weeks of quarantine. Welcome back to The Hour, 89.5!

Episode 89 - The Best of Both Digressions Part 1

If you thought the daily Trump presser was the most nonsense you could see in a day, well, we won’t be outdone! This week we discuss life during the COVID-19 Quarantine.  Are we safe? Are we going mad? Where is the rice? How do we reach the butter? What can we watch on Disney+? WILL THEY WALK THE GRAND CANYON!? WILL JASON FIND GROCERIES? WILL MR. WORF FIRE?!  Find out, this week on The Hour!

Episode 88 - Tube Meat

Is it still social distancing if we have a guest on the show? Well, if not, don’t tell Governor “that woman” because this week we welcome Logan back to the pod.  This week animals are running amok, with gators in the closet and dogs behind the wheel. Thieves treat a Dutch museum like it was a Circle K and do a smash and grab on it, making off with a priceless Van Gogh Scientist find that taking a back could keep you from having a stroke, or at least it would if you don’t stop to think about all the filth that is floating around you. And finally, researchers discover that we can’t blame all that methane at Oktoberfest on farts, it’s probably just leaky hoses. Grab a nice place of tubed meat, and welcome back to The Hour!